The King's Table

I just got done fixing my lunch~a hot ham and cheese sandwich on whole wheat bread. Now that might sound kind of ordinary and boring to most folks, but it’s pretty great for me. Living in China, “ordinary” foods are not always available. I can remember 7 years ago when you couldn’t buy cheese or sandwich meat. Whole wheat bread is even a new development! You might have only found cheese at an expensive foreigner banquet for dignitaries or special foreign guests and you’d need to know someone to get an invitation to such an event.

I was reading 2 Samuel 9 today, which was the story of King David and his decision to care for any living relatives from the house of Saul, David’s former enemy. There was one crippled son of Jonathan named Mephibosheth, still living in a far away place called Lo Debar. King David told a servant go get Mephibosheth and bring him to the palace as a gesture of good will for Jonathan’s sake. Poor Mephibosheth! He must’ve been terrified to think that he was being summoned to King David’s palace, especially knowing the history between David and his grandfather, King Saul. In fact, his grandfather had repeatedly tried to kill King David and prevent him from taking the throne. Undoubtedly, Mephibosheth knew that the common protocol of the day was to kill all the living relatives of the former King, but he had no choice...he had to go to the palace to face the music. Instead of getting the hatchet, Mephibosheth was invited to eat at King David’s table for the rest of his life. Even though Mephibosheth was poor, crippled and had an infamous lineage, he was treated as a son of the King.

Sometimes I feel like a Mephibosheth. I am poor. As a language student I don’t have a regular job that helps me pay the bills or buy the groceries. I am dependent on the kindness of others and more importantly on the goodness of the one I call King. I am in many areas “crippled” and undeserving of an invitation to eat at the King’s table on a daily basis, but He in His grace makes that invitation to me every day! He provides everything I need and then some. He allows me the blessing of His company and freely offers me things that I could never obtain myself. In His presence I am not regarded as unworthy, poor, crippled, or outcast. I am a daughter of the King and as such entitled to all the benefit that go with the title.

When I focus on who I am in the eyes of the King, I am overwhelmed with a sense of gratitude and peace. I can daily pull myself up to the bounty that He affords me and thank Him...not only for who He is, for His love and provision for me, but also for this delicious hot ham cheese on whole wheat...which I am about to eat!

New Rear-View

Nowhere else in the world are females as obsessed with their butts as they are in North America. Our butts are literally the butt of numerous jokes, some of which I find hysterical and some of which are just plain bad. In my case, the truth is painful. I do indeed have Dutch Butt disease. Although it is annoying and hereditary, (Thanks Grandma!) it is not terminal. It often causes me to have rear-end collisions and what I mean by that is that my rear-end is almost always at fault for knocking something off a table or bumping into someone that most would consider to be at an acceptable distance away. Wouldn’t it be nice if I had one of those built in censors they put in the new cars? You know, the ones that show you how close you are to something behind you and beep when you’re just about to hit it? That would be stellar! No more embarrassing apologize or red faces, just a sweet smile as I passed by without incident. We have rear-view mirrors in cars for reasons. Sometimes it’s necessary for us to look back so we can adjust as we go forward.

For some time now, I have made it a habit not to look at my backside while getting dressed. My thoughts go like this: “It’s back there and I don’t see it so it doesn’t matter!” This kind of thinking is what has caused some of my weight problems today. It’s called denial. I had the same feeling about back fat and its unsightliness. I only had to confront the issue when I could no longer breathe properly after putting on my bra. Genetically speaking, I already have a freakishly large back (Thanks, Mom!) and have to use a bra extender, (available at the fabric store for anyone who is interested) but when my bra extended needed a bra extender, I had to face the facts. My back fat was taking on a life of its own! The rearview does matter and effects the the way I function. Yes, it’s embarrassing to say this aloud, but if I never get real with myself, nothing will ever change. I will always be fat and I’m not willing to go on being like this.

The Apostle Paul is one of my favorite biblical authors. Although in Philippians 3, he was talking about a completely different subject (losing everything dear to him to follow hard after Christ), his words and their applications are good ones. Early on in the chapter, he says that we should not put any confidence in the flesh (specifically the good parts of our lives) but we should realize that it’s not all about us. It’s about Christ in us, the hope of glory! (Colossians 1:27) Paul is saying that he’s had all the wrong motives for feeling superior to others, and for being in denial about his faults and shortcomings. He’s aware that he’s not where he should be or wants to be, but he’s determined not to dwell on the reality of what is past and keep going forward. He’s not saying don’t look back. Instead, he’s saying not to dwell on our past accomplishments or failures but to focus on the goal ahead while keeping our eyes on the Source of our strength and accomplishment. He said it this way in Philippians 3: 12-14
“Not that I have already obtained all of this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take ahold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do; Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”

Everyone has something in their rear-view mirror that they would rather not look at. They have areas of their past that are effecting them in negative ways, but it doesn't have to be that way. I say, look at them and let them be the motivation you need to make the change! You can do it...No if, ands, or buts about it!

Days of Discouragement

I know I’m not the only one who at times feels discouraged. Today was one of those days. I didn’t sleep well (again), the sky was gray with clouds of pollution, the air was a mass of sticky humidity, and in spite of my best efforts, nothing I did to prepare for class was sticking in my brain. I should’ve known better than to step on the scale for my mid-week weigh in. Continuing on with everything else that was out of sync, the scale reported that I had gained 2 pound!!! What the heck?? I wanted to throw up my hands and say “Forget it! I’m doing all the right things and nothing seems to be working. What’s the point?” I felt like a complete failure. Sound familiar?

Galatians 6:7-9 says this:
Do not be deceived. God cannot be mocked. People reap what they sow. Those who sow to please their sinful nature will reap destruction; those who sow to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. Let us not become weary in doing good, for in due time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

This principle is good not only for the spiritual part of our lives but also in the physical areas. God has a design and an order for how things happen, even though it’s not always in the time frame we think it should be in. This is not to say that these principles of sowing and reaping are set in stone. We don't always reap the good or the bad consequences of our actions. We still live in a broken world and things are not always going to be fair. Jesus himself said that things would be unfair, but that we should press on in love regardless of the fairness or unfairness of the circumstances. (Matt 5:44-45) Whether it’s people I am discouraged about or situations that I have not control over, my job is to press on and love in the process.. The Chinese have a specific saying for this. They often yell it at sporting events or to encourage each other. They say “JiaYou! JiaYou! (Gi as in giant...Yo!) It literally means “Add Oil or Keep Going!” As a Christian, I find this not only encouraging but interesting. In the Bible, the Holy Spirit is often represented by oil. The Oil of the Spirit is a soothing balm to heal wounds, used to anoint someone for service, or poured out as supernatural power to help someone accomplish a difficult task. When we’re discouraged, we need to hear the Holy Spirit's voice saying, “JiaYou!JiaYou!” and to remember that we are not in this alone. He is walking with us even in our times of weariness and we will reap the rewards of our labor...if we don’t give up!

Unhindered

In English figures of speech are so common that we don’t even think about how they sound to non-native speakers. For example, we say someone is crying or laughing their head off, talking your ear off, freezing their fingers off, or working their butt off. In all these examples, the idea is that some action is so extreme that it creates an extreme reaction. Sometimes when I’m exercising, I feel like I’m sweating my butt off, but in actuality, nothing is really happening. Wouldn’t it be it great if we could really have our butts fall off from exercising? That would make me exceedingly happy! It would mean my extreme effort was paying off big!
In 2 Samuel Chapter 6, we see David and his men finally bringing the Ark of the Covenant back to the City of David after an earlier misstep that landed the Ark in the household of Obed of Edom. David was so overjoyed to be reclaiming the Ark and bringing it to its rightful place in the city that he “danced before the Lord with all his might.” His dancing was so extreme that he “danced his clothes off!” Now that’s unhindered! No one seemed to have a problem with it except his wife, Michal, the daughter of Saul. She “despised him in her heart” because she was embarrassed that he got down to his tunic in front of the people, and especially in plain sight of common slave girls. She considered his behavior vulgar and undignified. I love David’s response!

21 David said to Michal, "It was before the LORD, who chose me rather than your father or anyone from his house when he appointed me ruler over the LORD's people Israel—I will celebrate before the LORD. 22 I will become even more undignified than this, and I will be humiliated in my own eyes. But by these slave girls you spoke of, I will be held in honor."

Isn’t that the way it usually goes. We do something extravagant out of love for God and someone close to us has to give us grief. We worry about what others might say about our “out there” displays of love or faith. David on the other hand could’ve cared less about what his wife thought, because his focus was in the right place. He was celebrating before the Lord. Everything else in his mind and in his world disappeared. He was dancing his butt off, unhindered and unashamed...and promising to be even more undignified in his worship than he had already been! That’s the way I want to be! It’s been a long time since I danced my butt off before the Lord, undignified, unhindered and unashamedly giving Him praise for the great life I have. Maybe it’s time I did that. Why don’t you join me? Here’s a link to Youtube for a song from the band Unhindered, The song is called “I am Free.” Come on! Let’s dance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=znMzgnR4oZE&feature=related

Grouch Zone-Feed Attendant Before Entering

I don’t know about you, but when I get too hungry, I turn into a real grouch! It starts off with a little rumble in my stomach. After about a half hour of ignoring it, I start to feel a headache coming on and I get a little nauseated. I feel kind of weak as well. If I wait much longer, my thinking really get impaired. I can’t process information as quickly and my brain feels like it’s in a cloud of cotton candy. It’s pretty fuzzy up in there. At times like these, it’s almost too late. If I’m out and have to go to a restaurant, I can’t even make a decision about what I want to eat. My brain has already checked out. All I want to do is chew someones head off. No one should ever let themselves get to that point. I’m not saying to feed the tiger in your belly every time it growls, but allowing your hunger to get out of control and create a hunger monster out of you is not the answer either. We have to pay attention to what our bodies are saying and be sensitive to maintaining healthy balance. That takes discernment and wisdom.

In I Kings 17: 8-16, Elijah went to a place called Zarephath of Sidon and did as the Lord told him to by asking a widow with a son to bring him some water and some bread. At that time there was a long and severe drought in the land, so food and water were very scarce. The widow certainly had been effected by the drought and was obviously very poor...not to mention extremely hungry. She told him that she only had a handful of flour and a little oil that she planned to make some bread with so she and her son could eat it and die! Pretty dire straits, I’d say! But Elijah told her not to be afraid and first go home to make him some bread, then make some bread for herself and her son. He promised that if she did this, the Lord would provide for her and her son until the rain came again. Can you imagine the nerve of this prophet, asking a poor, starving, destitute widow to give him her last bit of water and food first and then believe that God would provide more for her to feed herself and her son? That was quite a request! Knowing how I get when I’m famished and facing situations far less stressful that poverty, starvation, and death, I wonder how I would’ve handled Elijah’s request. I wonder if I could’ve had the same trust and grace she had. Somehow I sort of doubt it. I probably would have come after him with one of those sticks I was collecting for the fire and spouted off some choice words about his man parts being made of steel. I’m sure it wouldn’t have been pretty.

It’s hard to keep a positive attitude about anything when we’re hungry. We are physically at a disadvantage, our blood sugar is probably low and our mental acuity is usually compromised. That being said, we need to show grace in the times when we do find ourselves hungry and crabby. We need to do our part in the planning beforehand so that doesn’t have to happen, but trust that in those rare times, the Lord will provide the resources and the time that we need to eat regularly and properly so we don’t have to become hunger monsters.

What You See Is Not What You Get!

World’s First red-fleshed variety hits supermarket shelves.

Hot off the Press: http://mcxperi.wordpress.com/

From the outside it appears to be just another apple. But on deeper inspection the fruit reveals its true colours. Take a bite and you will find the Redlove’s distinctive hue runs all the way through to the core. It may look like a tomato, but this is the world’s first red-fleshed apple that has gone on sale in Britain. Not only is the apple said to be extremely tasty–it has a ‘berry nuance’-it is even healthier than your average apple as its red flesh is richer in antioxidants. The new fruit will even keep its colour after being cooked or pressed, producing cider that looks more like cranberry juice – or an unusual looking apple pie.It also has the advantage of not turning brown, making it better than normal apples as an ingredient in a fruit salad. The rosy-red apple has been grown without the use of genetic modification techniques. The Redlove is the result of 20 years of painstaking work by Markus Kobert, a Swiss fruit grower.Seed and sapling company Suttons has secured exclusive rights to sell the fruit trees. British supermarkets are expected to start selling them within the next few years. (via dailymail.co.uk) I copied this article because I found it fascinating. What we see on the outside is quite ordinary, and we assume that we know what's on the inside, but what you see is NOT what you get. It's so much more. I have often felt like this apple. I seem pretty ordinary on the outside. In fact, sometimes because I am overweight, the average person person lumps me into a predetermined category of the kind of person they expect me to be, and moves on. Guys are especially this way. They assume that fat is an indicator of some deep seated emotional deficit and run. Hey, part of that I get. It might even be in some ways partially true, and yeah, I agree that it's not the most attractive to look at, but what about grace and giving someone a chance to show their inner self?
In I Samuel 16 After King Saul disobeyed God and was told he would lose his throne, God told Samuel to go to the house of Jesse and anoint one of his sons to be the next King of Israel. Samuel thought for sure that Eliab the eldest son would be chosen, but God specifically told Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things that human beings look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." (v7) Then God told Samuel to choose the least likely of Jesse's sons for the job; someone no one expected~his youngest son David. David didn't seem to fit the idea of what a king should look like, but God saw David's insides. He knew David's character and his heart. God a knew that he would be the right one to lead the people of Israel. It would be a journey of character building and waiting before David would become King. It didn't happen overnight, but it did happen nonetheless~just as God determined it would.
I know that in this weight loss journey it is easy for me to look at my outward appearance in the mirror and agree with most of what society says about me...that I am overweight and not attractive. I know that my insides, my heart and my character still need work, too, but I need to keep reminding myself that God sees me as wholly complete, worthy, unique, special and a one of a kind...just like he saw David. Not because of who I am, but because of what he's already done to make me that way by the blood of Christ. Just like this new apple, I am distinctively colorful, rich in gifts and the painstaking work of my Creator. I am the apple of His eye and so are you. Today I can rest in confidence that the journey will end with success, as he prepares my inside and outside along the way.

Sniffing Out the Good Stuff!

There aren’t many people I know (except my daughter-in-law, Holly and my best friend’s daughter, Lindsay) that have a super sniffer like I do. For whatever reason, I have a nose that can detect even minute amounts of specific smells in the air. My crazy nose multiplies those tiny particles by 100, so that scents hit me faster and harder than most. It’s like a perpetual wave of smells are poised and waiting to ambush me. This is great when the scent is fragrant, but horrible when the scent is foul. For example, I can tell just by standing next to someone whether or not they have recently been in a Subway sandwich shop. The smell is unmistakable. If I get a whiff of a nasty smell, especially body funk, the scent stays in my nostrils for hours! I just can’t get rid of it. Smells also trigger memories in me like no other. I can still remember as a kid when my mom used to make boxed Chef Boyardee Pizzas and put the grated cheese on the top. To me, it smelled like baby vomit, so I would have nothing to do with eating it...thus I thought I hated pizza until the age of 12 when I discovered restaurant pizza. Yummy! Too bad I didn’t keep my first impression. It would’ve saved me hundreds over the years.

Our sense of taste and smell work together. Smells make things taste delicious or revolting. They cause us to want to devour something immediately or to run away holding our noses and trying not to get sick. Everyone who's ever had a cold knows, if you can’t smell it, you probably won't be able to taste it either...and seriously, what's the point of eating if you can't taste it? With my super sniffer I can easily fall into temptation because just a small whiff of baking bread or a sweet bakery cake can send me into a Pavlovian dog slobber, from which there is usually no turning back.It takes a lot of sacrifice to stop the snowball effect.

It’s interesting that the Bible actually has some things to say about smells and their relationship to sacrifice. In the Old Testament fragrant oil was used along with blood sacrifices as commanded by Levitical law.
2 Chronicles 13:11
-Every morning and evening they present burnt offerings and fragrant incense to the LORD. They set out the bread on the ceremonially clean table and light the lamps on the gold lamp stand every evening. We are observing the requirements of the LORD our God.

The Bible teaches that Jesus was a fragrant offering to God and we also are both fragrant incense to God and living sacrifices.
Ephesians 5:2-
Be ye therefore as followers of God, and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.
Ezekiel 20:41-
I will accept you as fragrant incense when I bring you out from the nations and gather you from the countries where you have been scattered, and I will show myself holy among you in the sight of the nations.

Before I became a real believer my attitude and behavior both stunk! They were a stench in God’s nostrils. There was certainly nothing sweet or fragrant about me that He should have wanted to love or embrace. I am so thankful that He knew the real me and brought me out from a place far away from Him to make me a clean, fragrant sacrifice to Him. I want to be so close to Him, to linger in His presence so long, that in the way I walk, talk, eat, and drink, I will have the unmistakable aroma of having been with Him. O Lord, let it be!

Exercising (Exorcizing) Our Demons

I have a total disdain for physical exercise. It never used to be like this, but I think that’s because the physical exercise that I was getting as a much younger person came in the form of fun team sports. I know some people are just group oriented extroverts. They join anything and everything to be part of something bigger. That would be me. I loved team sports like volleyball, swim team, and intramural basketball because it didn’t seem like “real exercise.” Even though we worked the weights, did sprints, and other strenuous activities, we did it as a group so there was great motivation to keep up and to be my best. Somewhere along the line, my life became more sedentary, my opportunities to be part of active groups changed with the addition of kids, and so did the meaning of exercise. I started exercising my parental rights to tell my kids what to do, my right to rest after a hard day of work, and my right to eat whatever I wanted to. Exercising these rights made a control monster out of me. Everyone has issues! Some call them demons. For example when I do something or say something that is completely ridiculous i want to have someone exorcize the demon of stupidity out of me. That happens frequently and is usually a pretty harmless occurrence. The bigger issues however, have always been selfishness and control. In order to really be the woman God created me to be, I need to I have these twin demons exorcized out of me .

My natural propensity to be self centered. to do things my way and on my own. In general, discipline is a word that goes against every fiber of my selfish being. Don’t get me wrong, I can be very self discipline when I want or need to be (remember I’m also stubborn and tenacious) but I being the spontaneous person that I am, I want to switch things up easily when I get bored. If you are self disciplined you follow a prescribed routine that will hopefully get you to your goal. You are solely responsible for your success or failure. It’s very individualistic, self-centered and typically a set up for failure. In my human frailty I will not be able to perfectly or consistently meet the standard under this kind of pressure.

Discipleship however, is completely different. Although discipline and discipleship have the same root, one follows a set of programs or tenants, a prescribed way a thinking or acting while the other is about relationship and following after not only a belief system but also the person who embodies that belief system. As a Christian, being a disciple means it’s all about relationship and following hard after the person as well as the teachings of Christ. In disciplining myself to hold to and practice the prescribed path that He has set out in the Bible, it takes, desire, commitment, and determination to follow through, when it’s inconvenient, unpalatable or just doesn’t seem to make sense; but it’s not solely up to me. It’s also about belief and trust in the One I am following. If I get off the path, I will go backward and feel terrible, . As a disciple, God gives love, encouragement, and grace in the process and provides the Holy Spirit to enable me to follow consistently and well. As I exercise my free will to give him control of my decisions, he exorcises the selfishness demons out of me and replaces them with joy, love, humility, flexibility, and power to do what’s right. Exercise and Exorcising are both painful processes, but both lead to a healthier happier me. Now that's exercising (exorcizing) I can live with.

Taste It On the Way Down

Have you ever had one of those days? You’re crazy busy with work, school, kids, appointments, family responsibilities and on and on it goes. You’re so busy doing what busy women do, that it doesn’t even dawn on you that it’s already 2pm and you haven’t even eaten lunch yet. Sound familiar? By the time you take a break and breathe, you are so outrageously hungry that you probably need to wear a “Caution: Ravenous Woman Zone: Enter at Your Own Risk. For Your Safety ~Please Watch Your Arms and Legs.” sign around your neck, warning the masses of the danger of getting too close to you while you’re feeding. OK, I’m exaggerating a little, but far too often we eat on the run or we scarf down our food so fast that we barely even taste it before we’re off and running again. We’re worried about all the other things of life and don’t time to care for ourselves. This should not be!

This was the case with Mary and Martha. You know the story. Martha was busy getting ready for company and preparing a big meal. Mary was sitting at the feet of Jesus soaking in everything He had to say and savoring the experience. Martha complained and Jesus responded by saying, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed~ or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better and it will not be taken away from her.” (Luke 10:41-42) The message is clear. We need to slow down and concentrate, marinate, and absorb the one thing that is needed...a devotion to Jesus. After running around all day, giving, giving, giving until we’re empty, is it any wonder that we feel like stuffing our faces to fill ourselves back up? We think we have no time to rest, to ‘Taste and see that the Lord is good’ (Psalm 34:8) but in actuality, if we don’t make the time, the time will never come. We will trash our bodies with unhealthy habits and slowly be on spiritual starvation mode. Not a pretty thought.

So this is my encouragement to all of us. Stop and smell the coffee. At least 3 times a week, give yourself permission to sit down at the table for at least 45 minutes and eat a meal while have some good old fashion conversation with someone. Eat slowly and enjoy every bite. Don’t talk about your day to day activities or all the demands on you, but make a conscious effort to branch out into other areas of conversation. Talk about the dreams you’d like to pursue, things that you appreciate about you life or family, ways that you have seen God working in your life or the lives and the lives of others, or even discuss something you read in your quiet time that struck a chord with you. If you will make this a habit, I can guarantee you will be less stress, obsessed, and depressed and more likely to be healthier in your eating habits. Give it a try! It’s way better than getting a speed eating ticket from the food police.

Don't Regret the Sweat!

To piggyback on yesterday's post about walking, I just wanted to say a couple more things. Every time I come back from a long walk, I am sopping wet. My hair is wet, there’s sweat running into my eyes, and everything down to my skivvies is drenched. If you didn’t know better you’d think I’d been swimming, not walking! Even though it’s kind of wimpy compared to other ways of exercising, walking for me is hard work. Skinny people don’t understand this because they aren’t carrying around a 10 pound sack of potatoes on their butt or a five pound bag of flour on their gut...and that only accounts for 15 pounds of extra weight. I'm lugging around 50+ pounds of snacks and groceries. I’m not trying to whine about it. I’m fully aware that it’s my fault. I’m just saying that for me, sweating is common. The good thing is, sweating means that my body is doing its job correctly and working hard to burn off all the flab I don’t need. Sweating is good for the body and helps release toxins as well as serves as a cooling system for when I get too hot. Can you imagine what would happen to me if I didn’t sweat while exercising? I’d probably get so hot I’d spontaneously combust! Part of it’s inconvenient and embarrassing, but part of it feels really good! I know I’m getting somewhere.

After the fall of Adam and Eve, God told Adam “Cursed is the ground because of you; through painful toil you will eat of it all the days of your life. It will produce thorns and thistles for you and you will eat the plants of the field. By the sweat of your brow you will eat your food until you return to the ground; since from it you were taken~for dust you are and to dust you will return. Genesis 3:17-19

God, I’m sure, was pretty unhappy that Adam and Eve chose to ignore His best for them by eating of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and evil and for breaking their perfect relationship with Him, but if you notice He didn’t curse them. He cursed the ground and gave Adam the opportunity to work hard and sweat in order to achieve a way of providing food for his family. God told Adam ahead of time that there would be thorns and thistles. It wouldn’t be easy like the Garden of Eden. Life would be hard! Sometimes we say that we achieve a goal or a difficult objective by “blood, sweat, and tears” and truthfully, I’m not sure that’s a bad thing. It means that the prize or outcome is so valuable to us that we are willing to pay a price that is beyond monetary value. We pay physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually because it's worth it to us. It reminds me of what Jesus did on the cross through His “blood, sweat, and tears” to redeemed us from eternal separation from God and restored us to a right relationship with Him. It wasn’t an easy fix. It was costly. It cost Him everything, but He thought we were worth it. That’s a pretty amazing concept to try and wrap my brain around.

If the Creator of the Universe thinks I’m worth His ‘blood sweat and tears” to redeem and use for His glory while I am still on this earth, then the least I can do is sweat a little to get and keep myself in the kind of condition that allows me to be of optimal service to Him. So as hard as it seems at times, I don’t regret the sweat. I just have to keep thinking of it as part of walking worthy of the calling which I have received...and keep on walkin'.

Walk This Way!

From the beginning of this weight loss journey, I decided that as much as I despise formal exercising, I was going to have to do something to get my metabolism jump started. Since I have asthma (and Tianjin is known for it’s terrible air quality) and my knees are not in the best of shape either, I knew that running was not going to work. The gym was not an option because it is too far away and too costly. Doing my “Biggest Loser” DVD work out and walking seemed to be the only viable options. Fortunately for me, I live right across the street from a beautiful water park that has recently been refurbished and is free to the public. I am also in walking distance to the school which is about a 25-30 minutes walk each way. So far this has been the ticket. Each day as I walk to school, I have opportunities to smile at people along the way. I keep a pretty good pace, so I don’t normally stop and chat except at the stop lights and all the while I am thinking about my life verse:

Ephesians 4:1-3
As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to (live a life or walk) worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.

Walking for my health, and walking out my faith in everyday life are closely linked. If I walk to slow, it won’t get my heart rate up and then I might as well be taking a taxi. If I walk too fast, I run the risk of becoming exhausted before I get to my destination. Both ways are ineffective. If however, I walk at the right pace, using the correct posture, keeping my eyes on the road ahead of me and not getting distracted by all the stuff going on around me, then I will be effective in reaching the place I wanted to get to. It’s the same for my spiritual life. If I get complacent or distracted, I don’t reach my goal and end up in places I don’t want to be. If I get ahead of myself or God’s timing, and I am not pacing myself, I run the possibility of burning out and failing at what I was called to do. And it’s not just the pace of the walk, it’s the quality as well. I have to walk in a way that honors God and lets people know that I have integrity, purpose, determination, and a desire to serve from my heart as the Holy Spirit enables me. It’s a desire to follow in the footsteps of the Rabbi and do so with humility, gentleness, patience and love... and that takes a lot of training. Just like losing weight, it doesn’t happen over night!

On my way to school, there are lots of hazards like, torn up sidewalks, tons of cars and bikers who don’t seem to have a clue what their body position is in relation to others. I’m often hot and sweaty, and the air is dusty and polluted to the point that sometimes it takes everything in me not to cuss under my breath, fly the bird, or simply quit and go back to riding my bike. But then I get a grip on my attitude and remember that even while the walk is reshaping my body, the hazards are a part of reshaping my character and helping me to develop the personality traits that will help me to walk worthy of the calling which I have received in situations that are eternity changing. If I can’t do it in the little things, I can’t expect to be prepared to do it when it counts. So this is the path I’ve decided to take, and so far I think I’m moving in the right direction.

Genetic Favoritism

Have you ever known someone that could eat like a pig and still look like a stick? Disgusting isn’t it? Here in China so many of the girls are rail thin, have no thighs or butts to speak of and have waists as big as my thigh! Arrgggg! It’s just not fair. How can I look at the french fries at McDonald’s and gain 5 pounds when they can sit there and chow down on a super-sized quarter pounder, large fries and a coke, topped by a chocolate sundae and walk out without a panic attack about what the scale will be saying about them in a day or two. They never even give it a thought. While I am ready to scream, “Genetic favoritism! Booo!” they are strutting out of the place with their cute little mini skirts and stilettos. It feels so wrong on so many levels. The fact that our bodies function differently from person to person, culture to culture, is not a sign of preferential treatment by God, favoring one person or group over another, but rather a sign of his creativity when it comes to his creation.

Psalm 139: 14 says, “I will praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Yes, I know that I should always be praising God for the way I was created, but fearfully and wonderfully aren’t the words I generally use. In my gut, I am fearful that I won’t be able to fit into my jeans this winter when I only have 2 pair and have to wear 2 layers of long underwear underneath just to stay warm...plus I wonder how that’s going to work...especially when buying jeans here that are my size is out of the question. That’s fearful alright, but not wonderful!

So why does God seem favor some genetically over others. Some are given the skinny gene, some an extraordinary ability for athletics, music, math, or art. Why does He allow disabilities, predispositions to alcoholism, obesity, diabetes, or other harmful diseases? I mean really? What does He do~ sit up in heaven a draws straws to decide which new baby will get what genetic advantage or disadvantage? I think not. Again, it comes down to what we believe about who God is. Is He unconcerned about our lives, our physical difficulties, unavailable, unable or unwilling to change things, or worse yet, a mean- spirited God who punishes us for everything we do that He doesn’t like. If we go with this definition of God, then I don’t see any point in believing there is one. The atheists are right. When it comes to the gene pool, there is no lifeguard! But if we believe that God is love itself, all powerful, all present, all knowing, able in every way to care for us and He in His very essence knows us personally, loves us and wants to be in relationship with us, then we have to believe that He also works through the brokenness of the human condition to help us in our weaknesses and frailty. God isn’t there to give us what we want. He’s there to help us want what He gives us...whatever that is!

The combination of genetics, environmental factors, divine design and in some cases bad choices have all played a part in it...and God is there in the midst of everything. Maybe He knows that if I had a smokin’ hot body, I would get myself into trouble or think more of myself than I should. Maybe I would be too focused on the next pair of skinny jeans I could buy instead of being focused on the things that maintain and build my relationship with Him and others. Just a thought! I’m never going to be one of those naturally skinny girls. I’m never going to not have a bubble butt. It’s my design and shape. My hope is however, that someday soon I will be happy to have the body I was created for and be able to praise God for being fearfully and wonderfully made. Just sayin’.

Drink Up!

When you think about the fact that a huge percentage of our body is water, it makes sense that we would need to keep hydrated. In John 4, Jesus goes to a place called Sychar in Samaritan territory and offers to give ‘living water’ to an outcast woman who is there drawing water from the well. His meaning sounds cryptic. She probably thought to herself, “What is this living water he is talking about?” Then he tells her, “Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but those who drink the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up into eternal life.” John 4 :13-14

Every time I read that I want to say as the woman did, “Sir, give me some of that water so I won’t get thirsty and have to keep coming here to draw water.” (John 4:15) Of course, Jesus was not talking literally about a “magic” water that would keep her from ever being physically thirsty, but a spiritual water referring to the Holy Spirit. It’s the Holy Spirit’s job to refresh us, and to keep us full to overflowing in His spiritual power, love, joy and other spiritual gifts. However, there is a condition. We need to be willing to come with an empty bucket and desire to be filled. Just as our physical bodies need to be fully hydrated to flush out all the impurities of the body, our spirits also need to be fully hydrated so that we can function in a life that has been cleanse by the Spirit’s power. Nothing else will truly satisfy and He is an unlimited supply. There is never a need to worry about a drought. He, himself is the source of everything and He is more than enough.

When I decided to lose weight over the next 50 weeks, I also decided to start drinking water instead of Coke. Wow! Was it an eye opener to me just how much I loved my Coke and how much I missed the tiny popping bubbles of carbonation tickling the inside of my mouth every time I had one. To be honest, Coke and I were like BFF’s~ inseparable, but the truth is Coke was a substitute for the real thing. I depended on it to refresh me, to supply my caffeine kick throughout the day, to satisfied my sugar craving with the fizzy fun of every gulp. I took it as a personal challenge to make the switch. Now that I have been off the Coke for more than 2 weeks, I can really feel the difference. I feel lighter, cleaner, more clear in my thinking and not dependent on artificial anything to replicate the natural benefits of water; the stuff I’m mostly made up of anyway. This is a good reminder to me that it’s natural for me to be filled with the Spirit and not a substitute. Doing it any other way, just doesn’t hold water!

Free Buffet!

Since we started from ‘the beginning” let’s really look at what was provided for us. People had the perfect life. They could hang out in a beautiful garden all day and never had to sow, weed or water. Nice! They never had to do work of any kind. They had amazing, uninterrupted communication with God and between themselves. They didn’t have to worry about wild animals attacking them or each other. They had a full-on free buffet of all the land had to offer (except for one tree), and what’s more they could walk around naked and not be ashamed! Like I’d ever do that in a public garden. It truly was paradise.

The thing is, temptation was also real.
Genesis 3:6 When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food, and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband who was with her and he ate it."
God provided everything one could possibly want or need to live a very satisfying, conflict free, carefree life with Him and yet, Adam and Eve succumbed to the temptation to have more. That is what caused humanity trouble from the beginning and that is still what causes trouble today...not being satisfied with what we have even when we have more than enough. When we give into the temptation to acquire or take more than we need, we are actually making a statement. We are saying, “I deserve more and God hasn’t given me enough. I know what I want and need better than God does.” That’s a pretty cocky statement.

Living God’s best in every area of our life means being in relationship with Him. Relationship with God means remembering our position before the One who created us. We are not equals. He is the Creator and we are the created. He gives us everything we need to live comfortably and healthily but we need to trust Him enough to believe it and submit to His way of doing things in our lives. Food is not the issue. Control is! When we try to control and manage our eating, our meal plans, our exercise routines, our own way leaving God out of the equation, we will inevitably succumb to temptation and fail, resulting in shame and blame. Sometimes we even take others down with us by including them in our folly to make ourselves feel better, or to have someone else to point to in excusing our behavior. Allowing God to control us and help us with our eating is the only way of succeeding. Does that take away temptation? Certainly not! But the Bible says, “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to us all. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted he will provide a way out so you can endure it.” I Corinthians 10:12-13

I don’t know what that way of escape will be for you when you’re considering a doughnut and you’re feeling the need to devour the whole bakery, but I know what is it for me at this moment. The thought of being naked physically, mentally and spiritually before God and not being ashamed. I want to return to some of that paradise!

Perfect Means Vegetarian?

I've always wondered whether or not God's original plan was for people to be vegetarians. I mean face it, what did He give Adam and Eve to eat? It wasn't a big fat burger or a chicken salad. He said they could eat from any tree in the garden, except they couldn't eat from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil.(Genesis 2:16-17) Being an Iowa girl and growing up on daily meat and potatoes dinners, I can't even imagine a life without meat. I love meat, especially pork. Oh boy! That wouldn't have gone over very well "In the beginning." Like Eve who gave into temptation when she thought God was holding out on her by keeping from eating whatever she wanted to, I often listen and give in to the voices in my head tempting me to eat whatever I want to, whenever I want to. That's why I look the way I look now! Why is it so hard to just do the right thing and eat the way I know I should. I guess it's normal for all of us to have a rebellious streak, to try and go it alone and be independent. But that's not the way we were created. We were created for community and to be in relationship with our Creator. The truth is God made us, He made our bodies to function the way they do, and when we operate within the limits and boundaries He lovingly sets for us, it usually works out for our best. Yeah, Yeah, I know that some of us (including me) have shifting hormones, broken sugar regulators, out of whack biological systems, etc. but that's not God's doing. It's a result of living in a broken and fallen world that became broken because of human rebellion`the exact thing we're taking about with our out of control eating. We're still trying to do things our own way apart from God. It's easy to say that God's way is best, but hard to do what is required, particularly when the french fries or ice cream are calling our name after a stressful day. God gives us free will to decide what goes in our mouths and what doesn't, so how do we know what God's best for us is when it comes to food? He never handed us a meal plan and said stick to it~ but He did give us His Word as a guideline to what to do with our bodies and what not to do. Because He loves us, He has a vested interest in taking care of us, telling us the truth and warning us about the things that will cause us harm physically, mentally, and spiritually. It's all in the Book. So let's feast on the Word over the next few days, and see what He has to say about eating and drinking our way to wholeness and health.

What's God Got to Do With It?

The Bible starts with the words, "In the beginning God..." It's a simple but profound statement that clarifies His position and ours. God was there in the beginning before anything else ever happened. We are not the center of the universe, not self-created, or self-sufficient. Since this is a new beginning for all of us, it makes sense that we start from a foundation that is central to faith. There is a God and we aren't Him. So what does believing or not believing in God have to do with losing weight? Nothing and Everything! For many people, God has nothing to do with anything they do in life. Life is life and it just happens. They subscribe to the idea that we create our own destiny and there is "no big plan" for life, only people doing the best they can to live happily and do good along the way. For them, losing weight is a system of mechanics- do the right things, eat the set number of calories, exercise a certain number of minutes and logically speaking you will lose weight. While losing weight can be done this way, it lacks passion, emotion, and the results are based solely upon the participant and their ability to consistently discipline themselves. This is akin to viewing sex as a mechanical function to achieve the correct result by pushing the right buttons and leaving out the emotional or spiritual aspects of it. Can it be done? I suppose at some level it can, but I think nearly everyone would agree that we are not just physical being, but we have spirit and personality which are unquantifiable in the physical realm. We need more than just a mechanical, physical experience. We need a spiritual and emotional component to losing weight that keeps us in a position of understanding our brokenness. We are not self sufficient, we cannot sculpt or create ourselves into a perfect being, we need faith, hope, love, and grace to get to where we're going...and that can only comes from relationships with others and from God, who not only was in the beginning, but who is now, and who is to come. If we start from the premise that God is there and has a vested interest in what and whom He created, then we are on the right track for success. For those who are of a mind to have faith, it has everything to do with losing weight!
Hebrews 11;6 says, "And without faith it is impossible to please God because anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists, and rewards those who earnestly seek Him." There may be some that aren't sure about this 'God thing" and how this all works. I encourage you to join in this process and open yourself to the possibility that God is a part of this new journey. Just Weight and See!

The Start of Something Good!

Welcome to the 50 in 50 Devotional Blog.
50 in 50 stands for a concerted effort to lose 50 pounds in 50 weeks. Believe me when I say, I am the last person on earth who should be writing a devotional to encourage others like me to lose weight, especially when I've done so much to damage my own body and so little to keep fit. Still, I have felt for a long time that this is an area God is wanting me to explore despite my total disdain for exercise and complete ineptness in the kitchen. My favorite thing to make for dinner is reservations. The whole idea of a connection between me and health or fitness is quite absurd, but God has been known to have a sense of humor when it comes to dealing with me. Who knows? It might be his way of changing me and a whole lot of other people who think they are doomed to fitness failure and perpetual plus sizes.
What I do know is this~
1) I'm fat! Seriously! No 5'8" woman should weight 225 pounds no matter how thin she thinks her forearms are!
2) I'm embarrassed by my size. I know it's not healthy and is always a source of discomfort, especially in China where I already stick out like a sore thumb.
3) It's really unhealthy for my heart and other body functions. My family is prone to diabetes and I'm sure that this isn't helping me to avoid that. I'd probably feel a lot better if i didn't have the equivalent of a small child clinging to my waist and butt.
4) My weight is usually symptomatic of my overall stress level. Even when I don't feel outwardly stressed, I know that when i eat on the run or graze throughout the day, it's usually because I am out of balance somewhere in my life.
5) Being fat distances me from romantic relationships. I know it's a clique that 'Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" but when there's this much to behold, it's really not very attractive to men. I know, I know...it's what's inside that counts and beauty fades, but let's face it~men are visual creatures. As far as most are concerned, (even the good ones) whale blubber is for cooking, chewing on, or wrapping up in to keep warm in the event of an arctic emergency...not something they want to look at everyday for a lifetime!
6) I hate plus size clothes! Seriously, have you ever seen anything in plus size that looks as cute? When there's more skin showing in a sundress than there is dress, that's not cool! I want to buy stuff off the average size rack and not worry whether or not it will shrink slightly after it's been washed and then have to sit in my closet waiting for someday to come.
7) Overweight women do not feel as feminine...at least this one doesn't. I can't comfortably wear heels because they wear down or break under the weight. I mean they aren't built like load bearing walls. It's difficult to define my shape because it's like a giant cellulite amoeba shifting in different directions depending on what I'm trying to shove it into. I hate it when people say, "You have such a pretty face, or such beautiful eyes, and don't worry about your size...you're just big boned and solid." Yeah, solid as a twinkie! Just once in my life I'd like to hear someone say, "Dang! She's got a pretty face, beautiful eyes, and a smoking hot body for someone her age!"
8) Someday I'm going to regret being lazy with my health (not that I don't already have regrets) and by that time it will really be too late to do anything about it. My asthma, blood pressure, cholesterol, and blood sugar will be beyond my control.
9) I know it's sounds stupid, but i just want to be able to look in a mirror and not wonder who that fat woman is trailing me and why she looks so much like me! I want to be comfortable with the way I look and not feel "less than" because of my weight.
10) Thinking about this takes up my time and energy that I could be spending on other, more important things.

Thus the devotional. I realize, at least for me, that my physical health and my mental and spiritual health are all tied together. It's the way we were made. I've tried to do it without emotional and spiritual components and i always fail, so I am going to try and do it with both this time. Can I do it alone? Not a chance. The only way to really succeed is to lose weigh in a holistic way... physically, mentally, and spiritually. Everyday, for the next 50 weeks i will be trying to do a short scripture and post that encourages me and strengthens me to do this well and lose the load! Thanks for joining me and here's to a new "us."
Blessings!
Lindy