The Start of Something Good!

Welcome to the 50 in 50 Devotional Blog.
50 in 50 stands for a concerted effort to lose 50 pounds in 50 weeks. Believe me when I say, I am the last person on earth who should be writing a devotional to encourage others like me to lose weight, especially when I've done so much to damage my own body and so little to keep fit. Still, I have felt for a long time that this is an area God is wanting me to explore despite my total disdain for exercise and complete ineptness in the kitchen. My favorite thing to make for dinner is reservations. The whole idea of a connection between me and health or fitness is quite absurd, but God has been known to have a sense of humor when it comes to dealing with me. Who knows? It might be his way of changing me and a whole lot of other people who think they are doomed to fitness failure and perpetual plus sizes.
What I do know is this~
1) I'm fat! Seriously! No 5'8" woman should weight 225 pounds no matter how thin she thinks her forearms are!
2) I'm embarrassed by my size. I know it's not healthy and is always a source of discomfort, especially in China where I already stick out like a sore thumb.
3) It's really unhealthy for my heart and other body functions. My family is prone to diabetes and I'm sure that this isn't helping me to avoid that. I'd probably feel a lot better if i didn't have the equivalent of a small child clinging to my waist and butt.
4) My weight is usually symptomatic of my overall stress level. Even when I don't feel outwardly stressed, I know that when i eat on the run or graze throughout the day, it's usually because I am out of balance somewhere in my life.
5) Being fat distances me from romantic relationships. I know it's a clique that 'Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" but when there's this much to behold, it's really not very attractive to men. I know, I know...it's what's inside that counts and beauty fades, but let's face it~men are visual creatures. As far as most are concerned, (even the good ones) whale blubber is for cooking, chewing on, or wrapping up in to keep warm in the event of an arctic emergency...not something they want to look at everyday for a lifetime!
6) I hate plus size clothes! Seriously, have you ever seen anything in plus size that looks as cute? When there's more skin showing in a sundress than there is dress, that's not cool! I want to buy stuff off the average size rack and not worry whether or not it will shrink slightly after it's been washed and then have to sit in my closet waiting for someday to come.
7) Overweight women do not feel as feminine...at least this one doesn't. I can't comfortably wear heels because they wear down or break under the weight. I mean they aren't built like load bearing walls. It's difficult to define my shape because it's like a giant cellulite amoeba shifting in different directions depending on what I'm trying to shove it into. I hate it when people say, "You have such a pretty face, or such beautiful eyes, and don't worry about your size...you're just big boned and solid." Yeah, solid as a twinkie! Just once in my life I'd like to hear someone say, "Dang! She's got a pretty face, beautiful eyes, and a smoking hot body for someone her age!"
8) Someday I'm going to regret being lazy with my health (not that I don't already have regrets) and by that time it will really be too late to do anything about it. My asthma, blood pressure, cholesterol, and blood sugar will be beyond my control.
9) I know it's sounds stupid, but i just want to be able to look in a mirror and not wonder who that fat woman is trailing me and why she looks so much like me! I want to be comfortable with the way I look and not feel "less than" because of my weight.
10) Thinking about this takes up my time and energy that I could be spending on other, more important things.

Thus the devotional. I realize, at least for me, that my physical health and my mental and spiritual health are all tied together. It's the way we were made. I've tried to do it without emotional and spiritual components and i always fail, so I am going to try and do it with both this time. Can I do it alone? Not a chance. The only way to really succeed is to lose weigh in a holistic way... physically, mentally, and spiritually. Everyday, for the next 50 weeks i will be trying to do a short scripture and post that encourages me and strengthens me to do this well and lose the load! Thanks for joining me and here's to a new "us."
Blessings!
Lindy